[Intro]
Pretzel in my pocket – stout in her purse.
We crash Rome’s gates – make their saints curse.
Check in at noon – already half-naked.
Sunburnt wallet – dignity half-baked.

[Verse 1]
Daytime haze – I’m loose and I’m loud.
Licking the statues – making grandma proud.
Name at the desk – and my mind on heat.
Mini-bar’s gone – I’m five gins deep.

She kicks off her heels – like a fevered queen.
Massage oil bubbling – in the coffee machine.
Tell the barman – I invented Negroni.
Write my memoir – on steamed macaroni.

Reenact the saints – with whipped cream and spite.
Rate the fresco – a soft-core delight.
Ask if desire – counts as legal tender.
Tap my card – like a first-class offender.

Escort us out – like a blessing gone rogue.
I curse in Latin – she laughs in a wicked brogue.
We stumble outside – declare it divine.
Hotel lobby canonized – in spilled wine, our holy design.

[Bridge 1]
I came – I saw – I offend the priest.
Take a leak in the fountain – call it an art piece.
Hijack the sermon – with beats and some fun.
Say “Namaste!” – while loading her squirt gun.

[Refrain 1]
Vacation Invasion!
Crash your peace – like a drunk migration.
I wear the bedsheet – like a royal cape.
Proclaim the jacuzzi – my holy escape.

I stage my own festival – outside the door.
Drop towels like merch – give the guests a free tour.
Thong on wrong – liver glowing silver.
We bless their spa – with tequila and shiver.

Vacation Invasion!
Unleash the chaos – a loud celebration.
Declare the sauna – an independent state.
Raise up the heat – no debate.

She plays the whistle – I play the skin.
Her body’s the strings – my beat plays within.
We turn the hotel – into one wild disgrace.
Sing Schlager at three – with my butt in their face.

[Verse 2]
Climb a monument – in socks and sandals.
Yell “O’zapft is!” – while chugging three handles.
Scream “Rammstein night!” – through cathedral air.
Twerk on the altar – like I just dont’ care.

Pass out face-first – in a crème brûlée.
Flirt with reception – “You sure I can’t stay?”
Order confession – in a takeaway glass.
Leave with redemption – first-class pass.

Promise I’ll calm it – then double the mess.
More shots on the tab – call it sacred excess.
Wear flippers upstairs – to the rooftop bar.
Taxi ride only – to steal the guitar.

Turn the pool – into a soup of sin.
Play flaming limbo – with the gondolas in.
Raise a toast to the priest – with a drunken bless.
TripAdvisor review – five stars for the mess!

[Bridge 2]
We are the reason – guidebooks come with warnings.
And why locals – pray for off-seasons and mornings.
Turn a yoga class – into a pillow fight.
Do downward dog – under strobe-light night.

She spins like a reel – I stomp in the fest.
Her Celtic fire – meets my Deutsch protest.
Leave behind shame – at every fancy dinner.
Yet somehow – we’re always the winner.

[Refrain 2]
Vacation Invasion!
The sunscreen apocalypse – Italian damnation.
Book one night – cause three scandals.
Tourist by passport – chaos by sandals.

Vacation Invasion!
Leave a note – in the hotel Bible.
“Be right back – hell’s got better Wi-Fi than here.”
Tip the lobby ghost – see you next year.

Book heaven on standby – waiting at the gate.
St. Peter winks – says “Come back late, BS it’s fate.”
Put DO NOT DISTURB – on existential gloom.
Check out my shadow – and upgrade its room.

Tell paradise – “Call me, make it crystal clear.”
’Til then I toast mischief – with minibar beer.
Blow one last Schlager – to the chandelier.
Sign off – your favorite menace, sincerely, dear.

[Outro]
Pack the chaos – zip it tight.
Suitcase screams – when it tries to fight.
With her still grinning – we slip off the street.
Leave a mango – and a poem – for the housekeeping fleet.

Derik Rentrop
2014